It is noteworthy that the digital age has simplified lives beyond description and made the world a smaller place; however, it is also a great distraction to kids and adults alike. If rules were an important part of child discipline from the ancient times, in today's digital age, they have become quite a necessity. But then there's this other thing about rules, making them stick!
Being Objective and Rational about Setting Rules
It is human psychology (perhaps curiosity of what the consequences will be) to wonder what happens if we do something we're not supposed to. The first thing that comes to a child's mind when you instruct them not to do something is, "why not?"! Why is it forbidden, what is the big deal? Remember this basic psychology while setting house rules, especially for kids. Any prohibition without explaining the reasons behind it will only lead to building up of the curiosity and eventually flouting the rule. Allay the suspense about the consequences of flouting the rules. Explain why the rule exists in the first place. The child needs to see the consequence as a result of his/her own actions.
Some Best Practices
A lot of young kids understand better when rules are laid out in a "Dos and Don'ts" fashion. Be tuned in to your kid's reactions to the rules and consequences. If the kid is unable to make sense of the rules or thinks that the consequences are unfair, have a discussion with him/her without being condescending. If you have more than one kid around the house, make sure that most of your rules stay the same for all of them. If you have a teenaged kid with a curfew limitation that exceeds the younger child, explain why it is so. The aim of having rules is to promote harmony within the family, nobody should feel left out. Trust your kid and do not indulge in excessive monitoring of his/her activities. Don't come across as someone who's waiting for the kid to make a mistake! Don't keep on nagging the kid and reminding the rules at all times. Avoid never-ending, unachievable consequences, don't make the situation hopeless for the child. Another common mistake parents often tend to make is to hold a lasting grudge for certain actions by the child; for example, giving the child the silent treatment lasting several weeks for an act of misbehavior that occurred some time in the past. This is highly ineffective in correcting the misbehavior. Make sure that the result corresponds to the act of flouting the rule. Don't blanket the consequence over everything else that the child does!
The key to making rules work is constant positive reinforcement and ensuring that the child is not left alone to deal with the harsh consequences of his/her actions. The aim of having rules is to steer the child towards self-discipline and civil behavior. Teaching the child to behave within the domain of reasonable boundaries needs patient effort. Establishing rules can be very helpful in the process of disciplining children. However, as with all fruits of labor, this one will be sweet and worth all the trouble. With these tips, I hope you can coach your child to become a responsible and independent human being.
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